What has Oregon’s Scott Frost been putting in his body?

So the NCAA, which has far more strict criteria on flunking a marijuana test (5 nanograms compared to 35 for NFL, 50 for MLB, and 150 for World Anti-Doping Agency), has suspended an Oregon player or two from tonight’s game for testing positive for marijuana.

Of course, we could debate whether the occasional joint was worse for a young person’s development than concussion and all the other afflictions that can befall a football player, but I want to talk about the statement made by Oregon offensive coordinator Scott Frost.

“I think anytime you put something in your body that doesn’t belong there it’s a bad decision.”

Really? How do you determine whether something belongs in your body, Scott? Are your players going to use mouth guards tonight? Do you brush your teeth? Do you know anyone who wears contacts? How about ear buds? Do any of your players stick those in their ears? What are your views on putting a penis in somebody’s body? A good decision or a bad decision?

How do you know that marijuana doesn’t belong in your body?

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to put medium rare duck breast into my body. It was delicious, and I did it again. I’m pretty sure that was a good decision, but how am I supposed to know if it belongs there?

A couple of months ago, I had a kidney stone, and a doctor stuck a tube with a laser way into my body to blast it to smithereens. I’m pretty sure those things didn’t belong in my body, but I’m pretty happy that they were put there to do that job.

So please tell me, Scott — what’s your criteria for determining what belongs in your body?