Colorado man fails to buy cannabis

Colorado’s legal marijuana industry has been in operation for a full week now, and despite long lines, the cannabis stores have been able to serve local residents as well as tourists from around the country.

So it was with some surprise that it was discovered that Richard Silverman, a Denver resident who lives less than a block from one of the new stores, had failed to purchase any cannabis.

Authorities are baffled.

Channel 7 Action News caught up with Mr. Silverman to try to clear up this mystery.

Channel 7: We’re naturally curious as to what happened to you this week that prevented you from purchasing cannabis. Were you ill, or going through some kind of emergency?

Silverman: No, I was fine, actually. I saw the open store and could have gone, but I wasn’t interested.

Channel 7: What do you mean?

Silverman: I’m just not all that interested in cannabis. I’ve tried it, but it’s not my thing.

Channel 7: You realize that it’s legal now?

Silverman: Oh, yes. And I have no problem with others choosing to buy it. I think it’s great that it’s legal. I just didn’t want any.

Channel 7: I don’t understand.

Others find the case of Richard Silverman more than just puzzling…

Kevin Sabet, spokesperson for Smart Approaches to Marijuana (S.A.M.), an organization well-known in the media for pretending to have an alternative policy approach to marijuana, believes that “there’s something really fishy there.”

“You don’t just say ‘no’ to Big Marijuana,” said Sabet. “Silverman is clearly lying and should probably be referred for treatment.”

In related news, Colorado officials announced today that the all-out disintegration of society is unlikely to occur until after the second week of legal marijuana sales.

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