We don’t need any more…

Occasionally in comments for newspaper articles, I’ll see some comment along the lines of:

We don’t need any more unmotivated zoned-out stoners, so let’s keep marijuana illegal.

Wow. What a concept. The “we-don’t-need-any-more” system of legislating. Forget analysis of whether the laws work, or whether they might affect other responsible people. No, this is much easier.

Let’s give it a try!

  • We don’t need any more couch potatoes, so let’s outlaw TV.
  • We don’t need any more red-neck fisherman leaving beer cans on the shore and pissing in our lakes, so let’s outlaw fishing.
  • We don’t need any more overwhelming smells in elevators, so let’s outlaw perfumes and colognes.
  • We don’t need any more reckless bicyclists weaving between our cars, so let’s outlaw bicycles.
  • We don’t need any more litter, so let’s outlaw packaging.
  • We don’t need any more loud sounds waking us up, so let’s outlaw street repair and emergency vehicles.
  • We don’t need any more people with slow reaction times behind the wheel of cars, so let’s outlaw drivers over age 65. For that matter…
  • We don’t need any more old people sucking up all the health care dollars, so let’s outlaw living past age 65.

What else can we outlaw?

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