Applying for a new job

Seems promising…

Dear Hillary,

I am writing to apply for the post of drug war publicist for your Mexico Drug War. I have over ten years of experience publicizing various aspects of the drug war and believe that I could step in immediately and help reinvigorate your drug war visibility.

I’m thrilled to see you’re looking to move in this direction. Clearly, past efforts by the State Department to publicize the drug war have been less than fully effective, as drug war awareness barely reaches the level of political discussion. It certainly hasn’t helped that the ONDCP director has undermined these efforts by bizarrely claiming that the war doesn’t even exist!

I have some great ideas and feel like I’m ready to start on the ground running. I figure one of the first things we can do is more widely distribute some of the most gruesome images of Mexican victims, in media throughout the United States. Then, in the Mexican press, we distribute images of U.S. soldiers (or DEA agents) shooting at Mexican nationals on Mexican soil. This should give us a good start.

I have many more excellent ideas like this and would love to bring them to the State Department’s War on Drugs. I am confident that I can increase the public’s awareness of this war in no time.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.


Pete Guither
Experienced Drug War Publicist

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