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Does President Obama need treatment?

The recent reminders of the President’s extensive past recreational drug use bring an important issue to the forefront. What will we do with the President?

All the relevant authorities have been clear on this subject– there is no such thing as consequence-free recreational drug use.

The “first way” has been deprecated by the ONDCP, so it’s unlikely that we’ll see the President cuffed on the side of the tarmac as they search Air Force One. And the “second way” silver bullet of legalization isn’t an option. It’s just not possible for someone to do weed and maybe-a-little-blow and then, without intervention, just go on and write books and become President and stuff.

Therefore, it’s clear that he needs treatment. Fortunately, based on the thousands of treatment places I see advertising on and spamming this site, there are apparently some choices available. And it’s possible that his health care plan may cover some of the cost.

Perhaps the President can be enrolled in a H.O.P.E. Program, where he can be assured of swift, predictable, and immediate sanctions — a perfect choice for an active man-on-the-go like him. All he’d have to do is make a phone call each weekday morning to see if he’s to be drug tested that day. Simple!

It’s imperative that we get going on this right away. If not, someone’s going to figure out that President Obama’s drug use is exactly like the drug use of the vast majority of recreational users. And suddenly, we’ll have millions of people wondering why the government is destroying their lives, when, if left alone, they could be somebody– maybe not President–but someone living their own dreams and hopes.

And we can’t have that, can we?

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